So the last two nights have been rough, but Im full of hope for today. Im gonna start the 2468 tomorrow. Im just scared of binging. Im totally fine when I dont eat but when I give in, I binge. Im starting volleyball again though so I need the energy. Im gonna make a eating chart today though. Ill plan everything Im gonna eat and not do anything off of the chart. Im also gonna get to the gym more. I still dont know what I weigh because of my scale being out of batteries. EHHHHH its torture. pure torture. I started my period though yesterday so I probably weigh more right now =/ bleh. Feeling bloated from it makes me less hungry though so its not ALLL bad. but mostly.

Current Mood: optimistic

Last night was an insane night!! One of my really good friends had a surprise party and it was amazing. It was pretty small, but still amazing. We swam and were in the spa basically the whole time , except when we were eating (It was hard enough being in my freakin bathing suit!! atleast i had long board shorts on) .=[ One of my REALLY close friends is a zero and eats like a PIGG!!! They kinda all do. but dont look like it. So naturally, we ate a ton of food. I binged like crazy. Now i wanna stop eating for ever. I hate food. It makes me crazy. Today i havent eatin anything. i cant and im gonna go work out after i take a shower. i think i might try to eat a protein bar at the gym or something so i dont pass out, i donno if i would. but i think i could go like the next do days with eating nothing or freakin close to it with how discusting i feel right now. 

I LOVE DIET A&W. and weight smart one-a-days. thats all ive had today. but my scales batteries died and i have NO money right now. Im gonna go crazy so ill try to weigh myself at the gym if there arent too many people in the locker room. Im so scared of the number though. 

Hope you guys are doing better than me right now <3

Current Mood: uncomfortable